a Father's grief

When Jason died on May 26, 2006...a very large part of me died with him. Make no mistake, Jason was no saint or next in line to any god you may or may not believe in...he IS my son...he was a good (mostly) boy and a good man...meaning he never intentionally hurt anyone, he was kind/ helpful/thoughtful and fun loving...he had a quick /easy smile and a great sense of humor...I was there for most of his firsts walking/talking/bike riding...as I worked nights so I could watch him during the day or make sure he got off to daycare/school and after school...

What I hope to accomplish with this site is a means to share and show that men/fathers have feelings, thoughts and emotions before during and after a child is born, lives and dies. While I am aware and utilize such sites as The Compassionate Friends site I feel a need for a place of my own. I am grateful to them for the many wonderful services and information sharing they provide. I am not in any competition with any group/person or organization. My sole purpose is to give myself and possibly others a forum to be heard and the chance to engage in reasonably intelligent discussion about the feelings thoughts and emotions of a grieving parent, gender is insignificant. It's the expression of the devastating effect caused by a child dying no matter the cause or age.

In Jason's case he was going to spend a Memorial Day Weekend in Canada with friends...He did everything by the numbers, meaning he was driving, they stopped to eat and being tired he gave the keys to his car to a friend who was too impatient to get to their destination. The need to drink and gamble legally must have been too overpowering as he sped his way toward the Canadian border of New York state. The 1998 Toyota Camry left the highway in Plattsburgh climbed the embankment went airborne and slammed into the overpass at exit 38N. It landed upside down under the overpass after Chris (Jason's friend who couldn't drive) was ejected from the back seat killing him instantly. Jason was strapped into the passenger seat. "The driver" lost his right arm and broke bones in his neck, yet he survived. He has a LIFE. We are trying to hold on to some semblance of one.

That's basically what this page is about...so...


If you wish to preach/pontificate or try to get me or anyone to conform to your ideology religious or political FORGET IT !
I will not tolerate infighting or grandstanding. We CAN agree to disagree but personal/ political or religious attacks will not be permitted. We are here to share our pain and lend support, share a thought or bring a smile to someone's day.

I hope this helps us all.
Thank You
jj