Thursday, September 20, 2007 GUILTY/NOT GUILTY/NOT INNOCENT/STILL DEAD

Current mood: awake

Category: Life

No matter what we have done that cannot be undone we are all GUILTY of something...it does not matter what we are GUILTY of...we know in OUR HEARTS IT WAS WRONG...

we may be made to carry the feelings of our GUILT with us the rest of our days...we may not want to face the simple TRUTH of any PAIN OR SUFFERING our actions may have caused...we may not have INTENDED anyone HARM...but we are sometimes RESPONSIBLE for another’s feelings of LOSS/PAIN/GRIEF...

that can last a LIFETIME OR SEVERAL LIFETIMES...

we may have no way of knowing just how many people have been touched by one IRRESPONSIBLE ACT of STUPIDITY...

there is no way to measure such things...what may be a seemingly simple act of WRECKLESS ABANDON CAN EASILY COST OTHERS A LIFETIME OF AGONY AND SORROW...or THEIR LIFE

MY SON

JASON ANTHONY LONGUEIRA

IS DEAD...NOT BY HIS OWN HAND...

NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT FACT...

JUSTICE IS A VERY OBJECTIVE WORD...

was it served or meted out properly on JASON’S BEHALF?...

I DO NOT KNOW...

I guess it depends on your definition of the word...and whom you ask that question of...

GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY

either way JASON IS STILL DEAD...

ALL I KNOW is that from this moment on I NEED to remain focused enough to keep myself and those that love me moving FORWARD...

Now all that lay ahead is an UNCERTAIN FUTURE...BUT I FACE IT NOW WITH NO SENSE OF DREAD...the memories of my son JASON will keep me moving in the right direction for ME...I will TRY TO LIVE EACH DAY THE WAY HE WOULD WANT ME TO...AT PEACE AND HAPPY...

or at least as happy as I can be WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO HEAR JASON’S VOICE HIS LAUGH OR HOLD HIM IN A HUG...

MY LIFE WILL GO ON... EVEN THOUGH JASON’S HAS ENDED...

I NOW LOOK FORWARD TO MY WEDDING DAY...I LOOK TO A BRIGHT NEW FUTURE WITH MY BRIDE BY MY SIDE...OUR PLANS AND HOPES AND DREAMS WILL NOT DIE...EACH NEW DAY WILL BE A GIFT FROM JASON AND WE WILL TREASURE IT ALWAYS...

WE WILL ALSO MAKE EACH DAY TOGETHER OUR GIFT TO JASON AND HIS MEMORY...WE PLAN TO GRAB LIFE...

FOR JASON